Coming from a single parent household I honestly lacked any type of skill that would prepare me for marriage. It wasn't until I met my husband and started planning our wedding 7 years ago, did my class begin. I had no idea that these life lessons would teach me so much about wedding planning at the same time.
These are the 3 most important things that wedding planning has taught me about marriage
1) COMMUNICATION IS KEY: In the beginning years of my business, I unfortunately made errors in my communication with clients. I was anxious and eager to grow my business and would often quote a price to a client without thoroughly communicating with the client of their needs. I would have one idea of what service I would be providing , while my client had a greater expectation. I usually ended up taking a financial loss because I didn't want to end up with negative reviews. In marriage communication is the best friend that you and your spouse never knew you wanted! Again in the early years of marriage a lot of times lack of communication has caused us to major in minors. There are so many expectations that are left unsaid and both parties have expectations of one another that are hardly ever verbalized. Having an open honest dialogue is the answer. When I learned to let go of my fears of rejection as a wedding planner and in marriage, it became extremely easy to communicate clearly to clients as well my hubby!
2) DON'T MAJOR IN MINORS: This is a phrase I use all the time! I absolutely use it with my brides, especially when they are stressing about things beyond there control, for example: font on place cards, should they use bubbles or throw confetti after their ceremony. I try to explain, that those are minor concerns that you are making a major factor. "What will you remember about your wedding day?" I can guarantee it wont be any of the examples listed. In the adjustment years of my marriage my hubby and I would bicker over should the toilet paper sit on the roll "over or under".....Yes that was a real issue in my home, I laugh out loud just writing it! How much time we wasted not playing on the same team, not enjoying simple moments with one another. I'm grateful we know now that it was all fears of losing control. As a wedding planner I implement this phrase in my business. It is necessary to maintain order, keep timelines, balance budgets etc and as a wife it is incorporated in my home so we can spend time enjoying the simple day to day pleasures of marriage as opposed to being concerned about which way the paper rolls. I'm still laughing!
3) GIVE 100% ALWAYS People often say marriage is 50/50 but I disagree. Marriage is a 100% commitment, 365 days of the years, 24 hours everyday. Your marriage needs you to be all in! I've never booked a client and said to my client you get 50% of my services but I'm still gonna charge you 100% of the fee or visa versa, I would have been out of business a longtime ago. So why would we consider for a minute that we should only meet our spouse half way? I believe in marriage you need to jump in to the deep and by all means "just keep swimming, just keep swimming". It's work, hard work but the rewards are worth more than gold. Some people may disagree with this metaphor, but I think if you viewed marriage the way you would view an investment that you and a partner equally deposited 50K into. Let's say in the next few weeks, that investment started to dwindle, wouldn't you pull out every creative idea you could think of to help re-establish that investment back to its full potential and even surpass the expectation? Would you just be satisfied with taking the loss? I'm believing you answered "NO", so why not put that same effort and even more into your marriage!
I feel the same way about being a wedding planner, I always give my clients 100% of myself. I want to give the best of myself to the task at hand and I strive to accomplish this every time. In marriage & in business I want them to know that it's all or nothing, and in all honesty nothing is not an option!
The awesome thing about Marriage and weddings planning is that there is always more to learn, always room to grow, always ways to reinvent! I'm positive and excited about all the levels of learning still ahead of me!
Until next time....LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE
Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy HERE.
Fawn Weaver was a happily married woman running a successful business—and then something happened. Maybe it was divorce rate reports on the evening news, The Real Housewives of Orange County, or any daytime talk show where husbands and wives dramatically reveal their betrayals. Everywhere she looked, Fawn saw negative portrayals of marriage dominating the airwaves and dooming everyone to failure. Looking at Keith, the love of her life, she knew that wasn’t true. She was determined to find and connect with women just like her—happy and optimistic about marriage, deeply in love with her spouse, and committed to building a strong marriage that stands the test of time. On a whim, she started the blog HappyWivesClub.com and sent the link to 5 friends. What started as a casual invitation to five women exploded into an international online club with 150,000 members in more than 100 countries. Happy Wives Club is Fawn’s journey across the world to meet new friends and discover what makes their marriages great. Join her on this exciting, exotic trip across six continents and through more than eighteen cities. Walk the streets of Mauritius, the historic ruins in Italy, and the vistas of New Zealand and Australia. Go from Cape Town to London, Manila to Buenos Aires, Winnipeg to Zagreb. Along the way, you will meet everyday women whose marriage secrets span cultures. You will hear their stories, witness their love, and be inspired by the proof that happy, healthy marriages do exist—and yours can be one of them! It turns out great marriages are all around us—when we look for them. Go on a trip with Fawn and learn the best marriage secrets the world has to offer.